Usually dry henna brought by the bridegroom’s family is broken to pieces in a silver or copper vessel by a woman whose father and mother alive, not experienced any separation.After preparing the bride, veil ornamented with red flake is placed over her head, and she is brought into the middle with hymn and folk songs about henna.The woman’s family welcome the party and invite them to sit in the reception room.At first, members of the bride’s family talk about the virtues of the girl.It is a sign of respect to the parents of both parties and for them (as wiser/elders) to have their thoughts shared with the potential future bride and groom.At the Second Khastegāri (Persian: خواستگاری دوم) a marriage proposal is made by the suitor and his family.Traditionally, modesty was among the most highly valued qualities, along with domestic skills like cooking, embroidery, and entertaining at social gatherings (Mehmān Navāzi).Less emphasis is placed on these characteristics nowadays.
In modern Iran, this practice is replaced by the courtship of the man and woman and their mutual decision to start the khastegari process.
Once both parties had established serious intentions for the relationship, the man's family would bring sweets and a larger bouquet and officially ask the question.
In modern day Iran, the Khastegari is a one-time formality.
Khastegāri (Persian: خواستگاری) is the first step of the traditional Iranian marriage process.
In the olden times, when it was time for a young man to get married, his family would look for potential brides who came from family's of similar standing in the community.